I am an advocate for loyalty. I am loyal to my family, my loved ones, business partners, etc. I’m also loyal to my habits. I am a creature of habit and find comfort in my routine. This way, I know what to expect and I know how to prepare. This has also worked against me. For example, we all know of or have been that girl that stays with the wrong guy because we have so much history and we just don’t want to give up on him because we’re “the only person there for him”. We don’t stay because it’s a healthy relationship, we stay because we’re used to it and we love them in spite of the fact that we have more war stories than love stories.
Or how about that friend that always complains about the job that they hate, but makes no effort to find a better job or at minimum, stop complaining and be grateful for employment? They do it because they’re comfortable being unhappy and negative all the time. Oh, and what about that “best friend” that you allow to keep making you feel guilty for maturing in Christ and trying to attend church more often? You let them slide because you’ve been friends since middle school, right?
In these situations, we know how to maneuver them because it has become our normal. However, these are all patterns that we know are detrimental to our development, but we keep repeating them because we think that breaking the cycle is either not necessary or seemingly too hard. Sis, don’t make your issue your idol. Don’t make your habit your heaven. Don’t make your pattern your purpose. No pattern/person is worth your peace of mind or covenant with God. Let. It. Go. If you keep revolving, you’ll never EVOLVE. As adults, the excuse “but it’s too hard” is null in void.
I’ll leave you with this. Here’s what the Bible says about returning to old habits:
“And when people escape from the wickedness of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and then get tangled up and enslaved by sin again, they are worse off than before. It would be better if they had never known the way to righteousness than to know it and then reject the command they were given to live a holy life. They prove the truth of this proverb: ‘A dog returns to its own vomit.’ And another one says, ‘A washed pig returns to the mud’.”
2 Peter 2:20-22
We’re in this together,
Every year we fall into the routine of establishing goals for the year and usually we are super amped to do so. We start off very proud and very determined to meet these new resolutions. We honestly believe that we will accomplish these goals and have big hopes to do so.
However, life happens. Things begin to hit us from every direction and those goals don’t seem so important anymore. The downside is usually those New Year’s resolutions are personal life goals and sometimes as people we care less about ourselves and more about everything else that is going on around us.
That is the perfect platform for the enemy to come in and attack. When we become so overwhelmed with life, we at times place our personal time with Christ on the backburner as well. The enemy will continue to throw things your way to make sure that you always seem to fall behind. Not only do we not achieve those sought after resolutions, but we also begin to feel the effects of guilt seep in because now our spiritual life is lacking as well.
For me, this is all too familiar. I am the person who can never say no. I take on tasks and burdens that were never meant for me. If I had it my way, I would take on everyone’s issues simply so they wouldn’t have to face them. I don’t know why I think that I am superwoman because that is definitely not the case. The Bible says,
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. (Gal 6:2-5)
Yes, we should assist one another in this walk with Christ but we must also be accountable for our own journey. Carry each other’s burdens, but first, we need to be able to manage our own load. (No need to enable slackers– capable individuals can pull their own weight!). We have to be able differentiate when someone is legitimately in need of help and when someone is simply being a ‘moocher’ in regards to your compassion. I am daily learning to not give so much of me out that there is nothing left for Christ or myself. That is my ultimate goal this year. So, what I want is for you to join me in this walk of accountability so that we can actually tackle those resolutions instead of revolving in them year after year and getting nowhere. Here are few steps that I am taking to help me do this:
Plan ahead. This year I have decided to ACTIVELY use my planner. Every year I purchase one and every year I either give it away or it collects dust. I have to make an effort to see change and therefore I will use my planner accordingly to do just that.
Reach out to a friend. In order to make sure that I take out time for myself, I have decided to let a friend in on my resolutions. Periodically, they will give me a call or shoot me a text to see if I am staying on task or if I have taken on too much. They help me talk through tough situations and keep me on my toes. This is a form of accountability that is necessary for goal achievement.
Prayer and Word. In order to make sure I am staying in God’s will despite what plans I have before me, it is imperative to make sure MY plans are HIS plans for me. There is nothing more frustrating than being out of the will of God and knowing it is due to you not seeking Him about your plans.
Again, I know that life comes fast but I also know that God is real. If you ask Him to assist you in this journey and you trust His word, I have no doubts that you will achieve all that you set out. Just remember to take it one day at a time, plan ahead, talk to your friends about your goal and stay prayerful. We can do this, Sis!