I personally don't do well with being told "no". I take it as another form of rejection. My first MAJOR experience with hearing "no" was when I tried out for the dance team in junior high. It may sound silly but that really messed with my self-esteem. I knew I did everything right. I had prior training and had been to all of the practice clinics. Even the "veterans" were telling me how good I was during those practices. I just couldn't understand why I wasn't chosen.
I didn't like how being turned down made me feel. I started to second-guess my ability. I thought maybe I weighed too much (I was a size 3 in Juniors). I thought maybe dancing wasn't for me even though I loved it so so much! I even thought that maybe I was only good enough to dance on the teams at my church, but not skilled enough to perform on the school's squad. I tried out the next year and made it, but that first "no" still bothered me.
Since then, I've experienced many other "no's" in my adulthood: Going away for undergrad, getting the scholarship I initially desired, dating the guy that I THOUGHT was right for me, etc. From these experiences, I've learned a few things:
God's "no" is never to harm us.
"No" could mean "not now".
There's usually something better in store for you after hearing "no".
"No" could mean you're not ready.
"No" could serve as motivation.
I believe that if you truly want something bad enough and it's in God's will, hearing "no" will only serve as a bump in the road and not a dead end. So cry a little, pout, even have a mini pity party, but after that it's time to get up and keep going. When Jesus asked His Father to "let this cup pass" when he was preparing to be crucifed, He knew the Father's "no" was for OUR good. He cares that much for us.
Dealing with No...Wow. You want some honesty? Here it goes: Sometimes when I hear "No" I immediately go into "Pout Mode". I cross my arms, I stomp my feet, and I cry. Yeah, that's right, everything that I know as an adult goes out the window and a two year old tantrum begins to come about. "No" for me has to be one of the most painful phrases that could be said to me. It downright SUCKS. I remember before I began my walk with Christ, I used to try to force every "No" into a yes, or a "not now". Majority of the time, this would come back to bite me in the butt. I had to learn that every "No", wasn't bad. In reality, sometimes it was for my very own good.
As children of God, we NEED to hear "NO" sometimes and consider that God has great reasoning for altering our plans. As I was web surfing, I came across something that I found VERY intriguing dealing with Child Psychology. The psychologist stated, "Children NEED to hear 'No' from their parents". Children are not emotionally or developmentally equipped to make major decisions or rules, or to self-regulate. That’s our job as parents. And if you don’t do it, your child will feel a sense of confusion and internal chaos. See, that same rule applies to us and our Father. God is our "Daddy". We were created from Him, for Him, to love. We are his prized children, but if we don't accept the "No's" that He sends our way, we can cause some serious chaos in our lives. You see, just as children, we are not always emotionally equipped to make major decisions without consulting Him. He wants to protect us from all harm and prosper us but if we don’t listen to His "No’s", we are subject to face unnecessary confusion.
Have you ever made a decision without consulting God because you didn't want to hear "No"? How did that turn out? Hmmm....I think we know the answer already. So, embrace God’s “No”. That job promotion may sound really good, but at what price does it come? That relationship may keep you temporarily satisfied, but what are you compromising to keep it? You may look FLY in that car you test drove, but will you have to sacrifice something else to make the payments? Sometimes God’s “No” is protecting you from a detrimental consequence.