What Do I Do with my Hurt and Anger?
What do I do with my hurt and anger? I don’t know how many times I’ve asked that question.
Everyone hurts. Whether it is for the loss of a friendship or a loved one, self-pity, being a victim, being falsely accused, or for someone else, we hurt. I’m a very guarded person and I struggle with letting people in. I’ve never had many friends and am comfortable being by myself. I guess I’m a bit of a loner. With that being said, if I allow you into my personal life, I’ve decided to take a chance on you. That’s where vulnerability comes in. To be vulnerable is NOT all bad. It’s when we’re vulnerable that we experience raw emotions like happiness, excitement, and suspense. However, it is also vulnerability that brings about anger, sadness, and fear. I tend to hurt the most when I feel someone has taken advantage of my being vulnerable to them.
About a month ago, I took a two week hiatus from social media. I didn’t want the distraction of social media, and I didn’t want to be tempted to spread my hurt and offense to others. Believe it or not, offense is contagious. I shared on our Reflections page that the hurt from something I thought I was over came rushing back to my heart and mind like a ton of bricks. After the hurt settled, I became angry. I was not only angry at the person who had hurt me, but I was angry at myself for still caring about it. I wanted to be done with that person and that situation. I was angry that no one else knew how I felt. I was angry that it seemed like the other person had no remorse. I was just angry.
I literally went to Jesus with my hurt and anger. First, I cried. Then, I vented. I asked Him “Why?”. I told him how that person made me feel and how I didn’t know if I could be cordial when I saw them again. I asked Him why He didn’t make them pay for the hurt that they caused. I asked Him why I wasn’t over it. After pondering, I sought His book of answers. I got in His Word. It was then that I formed this prayer that I put on Pretty Proverbs Instagram page during my hiatus:
Hurting? Let's pray: Jesus, I thank you for this day and the new mercies that were born with it. Today, I'm hurting, Lord. You said in Your Word to make my requests known to You (Philippians 4:6). So, Jesus, I'm asking that You heal my hurt. Help me to forgive others as You have forgiven me. I don't want to hold on to this pain anymore. I trust that You have the power to help me and can handle my hurt better than I can. My heart needs You. I want the peace that you speak of in Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." I'm open to You. Help me. Amen.
It’s okay to hurt, and it’s even okay to be angry. For the Bible says in Ephesians 4:26,
“In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,”
Before you allow that hurt or anger to cause you to sin, take it to Jesus. He can handle it. I promise.
Not too long ago I decided that hurt was no longer an option for me. I was fed up, done, and just plain over it. Too bad it doesn't work that way. In reality, hurt is a part of life. In some situations, hurt or pain brings people together. When we see someone else that has gone through our pain, it’s powerful. It helps to draw nearer to one another. Don't get me wrong, no one wants to purposely be hurt; however, it's a natural emotion. Handling that hurt and redirecting that emotion elsewhere is where it can get tricky.
Boy, I have experienced some real HURT these past few months. Losing loved ones and allowing situations out of my control to dictate my mood was just a recipe for bad news. I realized that the war within me was way bigger than me. See, I was trying to be the general when God was merely calling me to be a soldier. He wanted and still wants me to trust Him and to trust that He will never go back on His word. You see, it’s a PROMISE of God to heal our hurting hearts. His word says in Psalm 147:3,
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Wow. What an amazing God we serve to care about what hurts us and to know that not only will He grant us peace in our brokenness, but that He will BIND up those wounds. I don't know about you, but that speaks volumes to me. When I think of something that is bound, I think of something that can't be freed. To bind means to constrain or tie down and to be bound means to be obligated. So, God is saying that whatever it is that is hurting you, it’s OBLIGATED to cease. I'm not saying that you will never experience hurt or pain, but we must realize that it is only temporary and HAS to come to an end.
So how can we handle the pain and hurt that we experience?
Handling hurt calls for being willing to accept the truth no matter what it is. There's nothing more painful than facing real emotion face to face. Accepting what we don't want to see, hear, or believe. It's a downright doozy. One way to accept hurt and move from it is to send love to the one who may have hurt you. Sending love instead of anger back to someone who has hurt us, no matter how hard it is to do so, forces us to be the bigger person. Both people can begin to heal because it breaks the pattern of vengefulness. Sometimes when we are hurt or angered, we forget who may be affected along with you. One thing I know that confuses the enemy is to throw love as a counter attack to his dart of frustration, hurt, and anger. So when we are feeling vengeful in our hurt, just ask God to remind you of His faithfulness and redirect those feelings into His love.
Now by the way, I want to just say that it is NOT a sin to feel hurt! What becomes sin is our fleshy reactions e.g. bitterness, anger, hate, malice, unforgiveness, resentment, and so forth. Sometimes when we are experiencing unexplained hurt or anger, God just wants to see our reaction...are you reacting as a believer of His word?