From Brianna:
Ever just not liked someone with no LEGITIMATE reason? ("Because she's dating the guy that I like" is NOT a legitimate excuse.)
As a young woman, I recognize the cattiness that can so easily rear its head in our hearts and in our actions. When you see this happening, stop and think about where this is coming from. Were you rejected? Did your feelings get hurt? Did you feel unwanted? If you experienced those feelings, the last thing you should do is try to make someone else feel the way you did. If anything, we should try to prevent our sisters in Christ from experiencing that same hurt.
My brother loves to describe me as "a pit bull in a skirt". I know what I want, I'm not easily intimidated, and I have a quick tongue. It's been brought to my attention that this tongue of mine has power and has caused hurt in others. (This is why it's important to surround yourself with like-minded people who care about your soul and will tell you the truth. We'll discuss this later.) I had to consider a few things:
Although I got what I wanted, who did I hurt along the way?
Although I'm not easily intimidated, not everyone has thick skin. Who did I intimidate along the way?
What pain did I cause with my words?
It costs nothing to speak to someone. It costs nothing to smile. Set your pride aside. Evaluate your motives. Talk to yourself! Ask yourself why you feel how you feel. Why do you treat certain people that way? If you are truly, truly honest with yourself, you'll realize that you can be silly sometimes. The shame is not in making mistakes. The shame is in realizing your mistake...and not fixing it! Please, don't be a mean girl. Be a grown woman. Know your worth. We are virtuous women.
From Mo'Nique:
I’m the type of person who loves to make other people happy. I believe that I was BORN to serve…(I mean really, I’m a waitress for goodness sake, lol). I am also what you would consider a social butterfly, and I don’t care to share my life openly with the world and I am sure a lot of my PP Sisters are the same way...but oh, how the world will swallow you whole and spit you out just so the enemy can try and steal that very transparency from you. I’ve learned that when you develop a love for people you are ALSO allowing yourself to be vulnerable and subject to hurt, betrayal, and rejection which in return has a tendency to obliterate your ability to trust.
As a person who has been hurt, betrayed, and rejected, I found myself hurting and rejecting others unintentionally. You see, a wise woman once told me that, “hurt people, HURT people”. Initially, I didn’t understand what the crap that meant, but as she explained how when a person is subject to a type of behavior for a long time (in my case being hurt by people who I believed loved me) that person is more than likely going to reciprocate that same hurt to someone else whether intentional or unintentional. Indeed that was my case. As I was battling with the spirit of rejection, it was not unlikely for me to reject or make someone feel rejected just because it had became a dormant, learned behavior. At times, I found myself to be downright “mean” for no apparent reason. Until God dealt with me. I had no idea of how I was making my loved ones and friends feel. Being SASSY and SNAPPY was a way of life for me. It was my protective mechanism. I had no idea that the rejection I had dealt with earlier in my life had begun to manifest in my present and was causing everyone I loved to be affected.
Being a “Mean Girl” came in MANY hidden forms too. For example, I found myself excluding people from group gatherings, declining invitations that I received to events or fellowships, or even bringing up something that I may have been hosting to a select few in front of people that I KNEW I hadn’t invited. Sadly, I didn’t recognize this behavior until I heard a sermon being preached on “rejection”. Due to the fact that I really didn’t know I was dealing with rejection, I didn’t recognize what it was. Rejection is more than an incident; it's more than a feeling. It's a spirit. It's an evil spirit that is sent out to evade your soul, mind, will, vision, and emotions. The purpose is to make you feel useless. It causes hurt, low self-esteem, sadness, grief, despair, withdrawal, false compassion, lust, attention-seeking, loneliness, perfectionism, doubt, etc. This spirit inflicts soul moods that cause us to reject others and causes us to feel rejected. I had realized that rejection is parasitic. It attaches itself to the mind of its hosts, causing feelings of no value. It's a thief and robs people of relationships; it makes people feel unwanted and as if people don't love us. It can destroy lives, and in return cause us to become “Mean Girls”. Have you found yourself being a mean girl? Do you subconsciously exclude yourself from gatherings or groups? Are you quick to catch an attitude? Or maybe you are constantly pre assuming that people are trying to get over on you?
Just know, Sisters of PP, the word of God says you are accepted. Rejection tells you that it doesn't apply to you because you don't fit in. If the enemy can keep you rejected it causes you to reject your purpose. Genesis says that when God was done creating the world it was "good" but when He created man, he called them "Very Good"….you don’t have to be that “Mean Girl”.